Ben Meer proposed six habits for everyday conversation in a guide dated June 15, 2025, covering introductions, nonverbal behavior, compliments, names, questions about current interests and topic prompts.
The six conversation suggestions
Meer’s first suggestion is to initiate an exchange with a brief introduction. His second concerns nonverbal communication, including posture, eye contact and smiling.
The third pairs a specific compliment with a related question, such as noticing a band T-shirt and asking about a concert. The fourth involves using the other person’s name in conversation.
His fifth suggestion is to ask about what currently interests or excites the other person. The sixth uses F.O.R.D.—family, occupation, recreation and dreams—as a reminder of possible conversation topics. These categories cover family relationships, work, leisure activities and aspirations.
For practice, Meer suggests brief everyday exchanges, such as greeting someone at a coffee shop or complimenting a coworker’s presentation.
Research on questions and compliments
Karen Huang and colleagues reported in 2017 that people who asked more questions, particularly follow-up questions, were better liked by their conversation partners across three studies. The research included online introductory exchanges and face-to-face speed-dating conversations. Participants instructed to ask more questions were also perceived as more responsive, encompassing listening, understanding, validation and care.
A March 2025 correction described minor errors in how some results had been reported. The correction said an independent audit supported the paper’s conclusions and that the substantive results of its hypothesis tests remained unchanged.
In separate research comprising five studies, Erica Boothby and Vanessa Bohns reported that compliment givers underestimated how positively recipients would feel. Participants also overestimated how bothered or uncomfortable recipients would be. The researchers found that givers felt better after offering compliments despite their initial anxiety.
These findings concern question-asking and reactions to compliments in the settings studied. They do not establish the effectiveness of pairing a compliment with a question or of the six suggestions as a combined method.
